What If?

The odd but interesting @zolora was bored, and her brain cast out three seemingly random questions. I so enjoyed the recent #7things meme (tell us seven things about you that we don’t already know) that I agreed to answer these questions, too. This is three of three:

If you led a double life, what would your secret other life be like?

If?

Oh, right, this is a hypothetical. Let me answer it that way: All the stock answers–secret agent a la Danger Man (RIP Patrick McGoohan; your John Drake was simply the best secret agent ever), hitman, serial killer, thief, Simon Templar/The Saint–they all seem like good, fun choices.

Yes, I said I’d like being a serial killer. What?! The stalking, the torturing, the power-play, the free expression of bloody violence: You can’t look honestly at the human race and the things we do and tell me that’s not inherently, at some level, inside and fun to us all.

Wait. I’m sorry. You probably weren’t looking for that much brutal honesty here. It’s a fun hypothetical. I’m not supposed to think fondly of Tarantino villains or their vengeful forebears. Not supposed to have an Ed Gein moment! No, siree! Back on track now! Orgetfay Iway everway entionedmay erialsay illerkay.

All the choices seem interesting, but if I were really going to lead a double life, I think I’d have to “work blue.” I’d be a stunt man in porn films. There is such a thing, right? I’m sure there must be. That’s what I’d do. If.